Hunger

An interesting interaction at the park today while waiting for a friend.

Fighting down pain today, but the sun was warm and I wanted to walk a few laps. I sat on the bench to soak up some sun hoping it would warm up the owies enough to get moving.

A woman comes over towards the bench and she is moving stiffly. She sits down and jokingly tells her dog to go play, she hurts too much to move. I chuckle and say it must be that kind of day and I am hurting too. She looks over at me, and I see the "fat girl" look cross her face. It's cool..we all have our thing..but I'm thinking maybe I found another spoonie and I want to try and offer some hope..cheer..something...

I ask her what she has that causes pain. She looks at me funny and says "Well, I just got out of yoga, and it kind of helps my sciatic pain. But I totally do it to myself..I am just INCREDIBLY addicted to exercising. So much that it hurts every day now. But I gotta keep up you know."

I didn't know.

Why would someone intentionally cause themselves to be in physical pain every day? What is the goal and purpose? I understand sore muscles from over doing it, but this is different. Her litany of joint pain and nerve problems echoed my own.

I felt very lost and alone in my world..how do you explain to someone that you spend every day just trying to get out of enough pain to just walk a lap, or get ready for the upcoming gardening season.

I got up and started walking. Part of me did it out of rebellion. I was not going to let her sit there in judgement of me, and then expect me to be in awe over her ability to injure herself with such dedication.

The other part of me walked away because I realized hunger comes in many forms.

May you be at peace with yourself today. May you have enough. May you smile, realizing the only person you have something you need to prove to is yourself.