Valentines Day. The holiday least celebrated by the hubby and I..not because we don't love each other, but because we understand each other.
There was the first very awkward Valentines Day. We weren't married yet, and were trying to wind our way through a first Major Disagreement. We were at the mall, but not together. We met up, and he awkwardly handed me a blue plastic bag. I opened it to find a Marilyn Manson cassette. He got me. I bought him a pair of screaming underwear (best not to ask). It was a sucky gift in return, but I wanted him to know what he was signing up for with me.

Most years it passes us by, blissfully unaware..except for a few boxes of eaten conversation hearts.

This year is different. This year is novel.

Tomorrow, we are going to a TRUCK RALLY. Yep. I will be counting sleeveless flannels (excluding my own). And THEN, just for full effect, we are going to a Bernie rally. Because the two go together like....like....oil and water is too obvious..I'll think of something more appropriate.

Because here's what I've learned about our relationship, and why I think it's survived. (BTW our marriage is old enough to drink this year!)

1. It's ok not to love each other all the time. But you have to trust each other.

2. Try new things. Now. Listen to each other's dreams and fantasies...see if you can make it work. Step outside of who you think you are as an individual and a couple. Don't be stupid about it..some things are still illegal or just not a good idea. Don't send me hospital bills if you follow my advice. I am well pleased that he and I have stories that can alternately shock the socks off of or garner belly laughs from people we know. If we make it to our rocking chair years, I imagine our "remember whens" will keep us warm and giggling.

3. Allow each other to change, and don't be afraid of trying on new hats. Throw your map of how it should be out the window. This is similar to #2. Just know that some of your adventures will lead to changes in your lifestyle. I never ever would have thought that those 2 slightly odd 20 somethings would end up where we are now..but the journey has always been interesting.

4. There is no need for a mid life crisis if you have plenty of mini crises to keep you occupied. (yes..it's a joke...sort of)

I am tired of this list, so I'll stop there. Here's what I want to do instead. I want you to think of a Valentine's day gift you can give to everyone....single, married, it's complicated, any gender. Lets get some love going....

I give to all my crones reading this a very special set of ear phones. When you put them in your ears, they will play the PERFECT sound track you need for that moment.